August 28, 2008: Ferrets

I'm not really all that acquainted with puzzles in IF. In the 2003 game _Erudition Chamber_ (uh, by the way, spoilers start right after this and continue until the divider), which I suppose is one of the better-known litmus tests out there, I was 4-0 Seer, which roughly translates to "Screw this mechanical crap! Down with complicated tinkering!"

It was a bit more complicated than that. I only started out as a Seer because one of the tropiest of tropes, both in static and interactive fiction, is that there is a passage/safe hidden behind the portrait/tapestry. It goes at least as far back as the gothic novel. So basically the minute I saw a tapestry on the wall, I knew what it was for. It didn't matter what was on the tapestry. I'm willing to guess that I was purposeful hunting for Seer-y things on the other three. I did manage to screw up the interpreter by putting the stool on the table, then standing on both.

But. Puzzles. And my point. I don't like fiddly puzzles. I don't like "turn the dial to 36 and type 5321 on the keypad and rotate the lever 43 degrees over the square root of 7" type puzzles.

There are nevertheless puzzles in my game. I'd like to think they're okay. There are no keys in the game so far, so I guess that's a plus. However. There is one thing that I'd love to put in, but just does not fit. Its logical place would be a pet store but I'm not writing an "Escape-the-haunted-pet-store" game. I am talking about ferrets.

~*~*~

You see, ferrets got me fired. If we're being mature we'd probably say it was my own damn fault that I got fired, but I like to deflect the blame. It was the ferrets' fault.

Ferrets are raucous, angry creatures with angry, piercing claws and piercing, beady eyes. They explode upon entering the same 1-mile radius as food. Even if said food is Marshalls crap. Especially - you can smell the stuff from anywhere within said radius.

(Marshalls, incidentally, has an irritating line of pet treats. They come in several flavors, with the same rage-inducing tagline. Your ferret is not a fucking bandit. Giving your ferret corn syrup nuggets will not make it a fucking bandit.)

Now then. The only thing more chaotic than a ferret who sees food is ten ferrets who all see food, and who have been kept in a cage for the better part of the day. Every evening, here is how it went down:

1) Unlock the cage, dodging ferret noses and claws
2) Open the cage
3) Onslaught of ferrets

Once 3) happens, pretty much your only option is to put the ferrets in the back of the cage or in their beds or as far away from the door as possible. There are too many of them for this to be viable for long, and it doesn't leave any hands free to feed them. Oh yes, and I'd be remiss not to mention their clawing and biting. It is a real-life puzzle every evening. I don't know if an IF game has featured a ferret cage. (I mentioned _Erudition Chamber_ above because it mentioned ferrets. I *enjoyed* the repression.) I could see a decent author making it work. And probably not getting fired in the process.

August 11, 2008: Quick hits

I finished Photopia the other day. I'd neglected to do this for years, mainly because I could never get out of the spaceship section. Everyone who has completed this section will now laugh at me, especially considering the ending - oh, hell, spoiler warning, I can't do this without spoiling.

I've replayed it five times already, which speaks to its quality. It's nearly impossible to believe that this game is from the same guy who wrote I-0. I want a Photopia of my own. I want to have beautiful symbolic dreams and brilliance and I want a child to make up wonderful stories with. I miss the sense of wonder. (If this idea doesn't work in real life I will be sadly disappointed because I fully intend to try it with my daughter.) I'd rather not die at the hands of drunken frat boy drivers, but I've passed the milestone in story terms, at least.

I'm pretty sure there is a feminist subtext here. The glass ceiling cannot be a coincidence, not how she described it, especially not when you combine that with some of Alley's quotes and with the bike and her nursery and suchlike.

It is also a paean to good parenting and restores your faith in children just long enough for you to realize what is going on, and then you are affected.

~*~*~

I have library books. I don't always read in the bookstore. It slipped my mind that I can do this while at college, too, but then I could never study in the library. I only did it once, when assembling a British literature assignment until 3 AM. The other times I ventured inside were to get tax forms and to visit the music library for sheet music or to borrow an opera DVD for a few hours. I must remember to do this. Library books have history behind them. They have stamped cards which remind me that people read in the past. Now that computers exist, there are no much punches on the cards. It's disturbing. It makes me think people don't read anymore. Frightening. Library books even smell of their history, all yellow-paper mustiness. New books are not the same.

Currently I'm reading Joy in the Morning by Betty Smith. I'm only a few chapters in. I don't much care for the husband. I recently finished Cat's Eye by Margaret Atwood, who is making strides into my pantheon of favorite writers. There is much to compliment in that book, but it takes all that faith in children that I mentioned above and shatters it. I also, today, finished Figgs & Phantoms by Ellen Raskin. This is a children's book, but it came out in the 70s if I recall correctly and there is so much in that book that would not fly in today's market. In fact, the book wouldn't. It's quirky and the middle section of the book is an extended, beautiful dream sequence. It's nothing like The Westing Game but it is beautiful. It even incorporates the Pirates of Penzance.

It's funny how things work - Ellen Raskin illustrated a printing of Goblin Market, and we know how I feel about Christina Rossetti. I think I need that book.

~*~*~

My sister's laptop has Vista. Mine doesn't. I only care because I have become addicted to Purble Place. (Also the mahjongg program there, but I've got one of my own which has more layouts and tile sets.) But I am addicted to Purble Place, I swear, and I need help. I know it's a children's game. I already admitted to liking children's books, so why should this be surprising? I just need to regress, or possibly reproduce. It's like Thinkin' Things, but different. You've got the Mastermind analogue, and the Concentration analogue, and another game which involves assembling various kinds of cakes, which I think must be impossible, or else I need to stay away from the advanced level because I always screw up twice. If I worked in a bakery or an assembly line or an assembly line bakery I would get fired.

August 6, 2008: I'm entering IFcomp, dammit

http://www.ifcomp.org/

I've been circling this particular competition for years and years. Turns out it's been doing just fine without me. Well, that's going to change! I have a decent idea for a game - well, I hope it's decent. I'm pretty confident it isn't crap - and I'm going to code it up and enter it.

Don't look for me in this year's comp, though. I'm entering the 2009 competition. I am a total novice at Inform - a rusty novice, at that - and writing, betatesting, etc. an entire game in a month would be a stretch for even, say, Graham Nelson. This is the price of getting inspiration at the eleventh hour.

2007 frightens me a bit. Apparently all the games were technically very good. There was a disheartening lack of crap. The thing about 2007, then, was that the writing quality suffered in some games. So I have to write this thing well. No pressure.

I'd be more specific about my game, but contest rules prohibit it. Sorry. I can tell you that it definitely isn't a space opera.