Sunday, March 1, 2009
March 1, 2009: What's in a (spam) name?
When I'm bored, which is often, I go through my spam folder - 1000+ messages, all untouched - and look at the fake names these people take. I have no idea where they come from. Clearly they're not their real names; that would be stupid. Randomly generated, probably. Which makes it like one of those name generators, but so much better. So I chose a few of the better names.
(Note: I Googled all of these to make sure they weren't actually people, but who knows? I could've missed a few. So the following is fiction and any resemblance to real people, living or dead, is completely coincidental. Darn that Google.)
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Eldora Matilde: They don't make names like this anymore. I'm not entirely sure how playground teasing works - growing up as a Sarah during my time period makes you a bit immune, and kids generally stop that when adults are around - but it'd probably involve the elderly, Dora the Explorer, and/or Roald Dahl. Darned kids. I like the name.
Oglesby Zechiel: Oh man. This guy would definitely be a highwayman during the '30s, because, as TV Tropes would say, he has a Name To Run Away From Really Fast. And he'd probably hang out with Balthazar Murder Stonefield Accalum.
Lemuel L. Funk: This guy goes by Lemmy and whenever he walks into a room, announces "I'm bringing the FUNK!" complete with ta-da hand gestures. People just to put up with it. Well, everyone but Oglesby Zechiel.
Babara Aurora: Goes by Barbara all the time. The birth certificate is hidden from view. Don't mention a certain elephant around her.
Reyolds Carbal: Brother of Babara Aurora. Also, there is no carbal.
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